Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don’t like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I’m ‘so slow a turtle could kick my ass’ and that he has ‘a cute little bubbly retarded girlfriend.’ FML
Uhm, is your boyfriend 12?
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the “fake” spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
WORST. EVER.
(54 plays)cursive - the recluse
Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML
I’m pretty sure that’s illegal unless the credit card company sued the person and won. In that case, they probably should have started paying their monthly payments.
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
SAW anybody?
Today, I realized that I can’t shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML
These situations can be solved with wax.
(via visualizeus)
Yummy.
becuz god loves same-sex hand-holding
submitted by M
Those people make me sick. I hate them almost as much as I hate the people who picket abortion clinics, which I may in fact start picketing the picketers myself. Or buy a paintball gun and do drive-bys.
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn’t find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, “Today is MY wedding day, bitch.” FML
I think this person needs to elaborate for me.
